Festive Ramble

Yuletide blogpost!

First of all, Merry Christmas! I hope your day was perfect and you can't move because you ate so much.

I'm planning on letting my mind ramble on a ridiculous scale here in an attempt to organize my thoughts. I think that's all I ever do, as I keep filling sketchbooks and writing books with far too many  of these thoughts. I wonder if you counted every thought ever to have existed you could create some form of time vortex and the world would implode. 2 am intellectual maturity is rearing its ugly head, I thought you were supposed to get more rational when you hit eighteen? Possibly not.

Anyhow, I've been rather consumed with a mess of things recently. One of them is university and the shambles that is my life. The other is the UTTER SHAMBLES that yes, is indeed my life and how I must fix it. I usually love repairing things, yet this time it's proving to be a little difficult.

The process of forgetting is one that I find intriguing and painful. Forgetting is something I do too often, as I leave half of my possessions where they shouldn't be then nearly have a seizure trying to reclaim them. Intentional forgetting is another thing entirely. Trying to forget memories and feelings is something which fills me with a terrible sadness, as if it were up to me I would never attempt to do so. My friend told me a quote concerning the fact that feelings demand to be felt. This statement resonated a lot with me, as I identify with it far more than I would like. However, there has to be some sort of off-switch. I think that I feel too much, and a lot of things affect me when I wish they didn't. Let's say I let emotions guide me and that often leads to some crashing and burning. Yet when do the feelings stop being felt? Do they ever stop? Should they stop? Emotions are funny things, they are the core reason for being yet the core reason for the world's plight.

Let's escape to the other issue of university. Do you ever get the feeling you've walked into the wrong room, wearing the wrong outfit and have a ticket for another event? That's the jist of how my head is right now. However, I'm holding the right cocktail. In case your head isn't as insane as mine the cocktail was a metaphor for the people I have met in Glasgow. If you didn't get there from the obscure party reference then shame on you. If you thought I was a raving alcoholic don't worry, I would've too. Anyway, I've built myself a nice little haven in Glasgow. The friends I've made make me warm inside and I could spend hours in their company, yet I'm still in the wrong room in the wrong outfit with the wrong invitation. I hope I don't end up flitting here, there and everywhere, because I really hope that if I make the drastic decision I am concocting inside my brain it turns out to be the right one. Too many decisions. Please send Matt Healy carrying pizza and cookie dough. (Vegan pizza and flourless, eggless cookie dough so I feel at least a little healthy).

Another paragraph so this post appears to have structure. ART. I love art. Art makes me happy, art helps me breathe. I'm thinking art. Maybe I'm wrong. An application can't hurt. An application is only an application.

PICTURES

My wonderful pops

Holding lights for me while looking contemplative

My favourite dinner to make

AVOCADO

Legs. This is how I feel about winter. It encapsulates my feeling of cosiness. 

So not going to get through a blogpost without this one's face. Oops. I miss her already. 

I went to a beautiful soirée at a friends' house the the other night, and it was absolutely spectacular. I missed them all a great deal, and I cannot describe the feeling of being surrounded by their warmth and laughter. It filled me with a deep sense of contentment. We made far too much food, drank too much cava and took too many photographs (who am I kidding there is no such thing as too many photographs). All this was accompanied by cards of humanity, punching every fibre out of a pillow and playing glorious tunes on the guitar. It was one of the best nights I've had in quite a while. The ladies I spent it with have a magical power to produce these nights that produce this same feeling without fail every time we have them. We talked about everything under the sun and stared at the crispy belgian sky at 3 am. Being surrounded by them and a blanket against the harsh, cold, european night made me feel so happy. This night will have to be repeated, any time any place. The picture below was taken by the majestic Sarah, one of the coolest kids you will ever meet. Her blog is well worth a peruse.

Issy and I on the windowsill

That's all for now, the clock is steadily getting later and later, and I must wake up relatively early tomorrow, lots of things to do! (A.k.a art and reading while listening to my record player and drinking green tea. I love things right now)

I know this post didn't actually make sense and I went from two different moods but hey, it's a rollercoaster life. That was either profound or incredibly pathetic. I'll let you choose. 

Until the next post!

Chagrin

Another November post? Me oh my, I must really be avoiding doing all of my coursework.

My last post was rather depressing.
I don't know how to explain it.
Have a picture of a cup of coffee.

Coffee just makes the world better. 

Emotions are unusual things. They never really make sense, and why we possess them is another matter entirely. Recently I've been mulling them over, trying to suppress some of them. It will never cease to amaze me as to how powerful they are, we really let them take control of our rationality. Yet is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? I pay attention (probably too much) to sentiments, so I would always go with what I feel is right. Yet, sometimes, I believe that we condition ourselves to think in a certain way in accordance to what is expected of us. Breaking away from that mould and discovering another feeling entirely is no easy feat.

My thoughts are jumbled so I'm going to switch topics.
I had a lovely day today. Mariana and I had a bit of a wander and I walked back with a stomach full of coffee and a heart full of happiness. I always get a bizarre feeling when I walk home in the dark, when my way is lit by painfully orange street lamps. Cities change at night, it's almost as if they all have a split personality disorder. Depending on which area of the city you're in (murder capital of Europe represent) I think Glasgow is so much more enchanting at night. It just feels so alive. Walking back to my flat kind of feels like numbness. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but it feels like walking through incredibly misty fog. A bit like sleepwalking.

I always go with my gut instinct, and recently my mind has been a little hazy. I don't really think I'm a UK person. That sounds strange as I am indeed British and have lived in Britain throughout various stages of my life so far, but I really don't feel it at all. After spending so long in Belgium, I feel out of place here. I know that I'm not going to stay after University, but a tiny part of me wants to flee. If someone offered me a plane ticket I really don't think I would hesitate in taking it. That thought scares me, as that means I'm not doing what I feel is right. Emotions emotions emotions.

HAVE PICTURES. We took a few shots today so I'm going to unleash them to the world (a.k.a the three people reading this - hey guys)

Little snap of Katie I took the other week while she was dancing. 

Later alligator.

Raindrops

Still November.

I thought this month would be the best month I've ever had. I don't think I've ever been so wrong. Some personal things happened far too recently and I don't quite know how to function anymore. Aren't raindrops funny? They can daintily splash on the pavement at the same time as flooding the streets. I think there are always parallels in nature as to how you're feeling.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing a blogpost, but I keep writing everywhere hoping it will help. I also keep making green tea with honey. I don't know why I've randomly started to add honey. I think the sweetness helps.

I'm going to be all generic
I found a poem

It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So very deeply.

-David Jones

I don't think I want to add any pictures today.
Cue a horrendous amount of self pity

Thunderstorm

Oh hello November!

Goodness, time really is flying past. I never thought it actually would but it's scaring me how quickly the days go by.

I just made a kale/quinoa/apple/beetroot/pepper salad for dinner and my stomach is quite content right now. The Vegan Pledge starts this month and I'm rather intrigued as to how it will turn out. I accidentally already broke it on the 1st of November as a few days previously I had bought yogurt. I obviously couldn't throw it out so I had to eat it. However, I have not eaten anything else that I shouldn't be. I did have a mini panic attack when I read that you couldn't eat honey. However, after discovering that it's actually a huge debate among vegans and non-vegans alike, I decided to keep it in my diet. I can't cut honey out I use it for far too many things, it's my alternative to the horrible white sugar. Agave syrup is also way beyond my price range so there's no way that's being placed in my shopping trolley.

It's still bleak and grey here, but I'm learning to be positive. I keep writing positivity notices all around my room (it's quite sad but they help when I'm feeling down). I am also obsessed (obsessed in a big way) with Taylor Swift's new album. I don't care what anyone thinks of that. Fitting people into categories according to their music taste will always infuriate me, as there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking a wide variety of styles. I adore David Bowie, Bing Crosby, The Smiths and Ben Howard. I also adore Taylor Swift, Crystal Castles and Lorde. The reaction to 'popstars' in the present time is the same as it has been for years. When David Bowie first emerged I'm sure there were thousands of people who detested him and thought he was an awful icon. I'm sure 'haters' existed. My original point was that Taylor Swift's new album makes me incredibly happy and I grin every time I hear a song from it.

I rant too much.

It's time for Bronagh's weekly (or monthly) dose of photos. Photos make me happy. I'm considering buying a film camera from the little second hand/antiquey like store in the West End. I've wanted one for so long, but they're a little pricey. Getting film developed is pricey too, it's just I cannot even begin to describe my love for film cameras. I want to take pictures with them for ever and swim in a bath of unused film throwing paint all over the place.

Because pancakes

This is all blurry, as I consider my sketchbook to be very personal. I don't like someone I don't know leafing through it if that makes sense. It makes me feel a bit vulnerable as I never ever lie to my sketchbook. 

Granola prep

Making homemade granola is slowly becoming a habit, it tastes to much better than the packets I usually buy, and this way you know exactly what's in it and what you're eating. (also no added sugar if you use honey as a sweetener)

Mariana and I looking extremely beguiling, I know. The day these were taken made me happy so I added them in.

Right I think I'm going to head to bead as I have a 9am lecture tomorrow. I finally finished my Psychology essay that was due in today so I feel quite relieved.

May the autumnal sunshine rest on your frail skin and warm your bloodstream.

Cake Batter

New day, new (overdue) post.

Yesterday I went up to visit Katja in Edinburgh for an (also overdue, I see a pattern here) catch up. I think it's safe to say that I had a day of laughter, food and good vibes. Travelling always makes me feel a hundred times better, no matter the destination. Trains are soothing in my opinion, there's always an underlying feeling of possibility of escape and adventure. I always have tat feeling at train stations, especially since I've sort of become an 'adult'. There's that feeling that, if you really wanted, you can go anywhere. You have the power to do anything you want. All you have to do is buy a ticket. Thoughts like that always give me a sense of adrenaline, as silly as that sounds.

To say we ate too much cake is preposterous, as you can never eat too much cake (Marie Antoinette incorrect cultural reference sliding in here say what). We had a sneaky visit to Lovecrumbs and Peter's Yard. I can safely say that our cake cravings were satisfied. I think they've been satisfied for at least a week at this point.

Peter's Yard deliciousness

I may have accidentally signed up for a Vegan Pledge this November out of pure curiosity. In my defense the cake above actually was a vegan pecan pie (the carrot cake/cheesecake/chocolate cake was not...oops). Katja and I have a sharing system whereupon we get two cakes we both like and split them. That way you get to try four cakes instead of two, I know we are ultimate genii and no-one has ever thought of that before, I know. I think we're forgetting the fact that it technically equals more cake, at least you're psychologically fooling yourself that you're getting more cake than you actually are at any rate. 

Being touristy because Harry Potter

We had a cheeky snoop around in The Elephant House because who doesn't want to see the birthplace of Harry Potter?? That's another reason why I adore cafés, so much goes on behind their doors. That scribble the art student in the corner is meticulously going over could become a million euro painting, and the laughter of the couple huddled on the window seat could be the beginning of love. I just think they're special places, places of solitude, sanctuary and consolation. That almost turned into a pitiful alliterative sentence. I just ooze cool factor don't I?! 

Moi

I don't usually post pictures of myself here but today is different! My eejit face grinning in the middle of the meadows encapsulates the happiness.

Katja

I may have edited her eyes just a little bit. I blame the recent episode of Vampire Diaries. It's my guilty pleasure and I am not even ashamed.

Cutie 

That's all for the rainy day today, I just thought i'd add a little update on Scottish life. It's still bizarre living here, and I don't think I'm going to get used to it any time soon. I'm still trying to figure it out if I want to or not. Ah too many feelings, too many thoughts on whether they're valid or just pathetic. 

On another note, I turn eighteen soon! On one hand I can't wait to do things that this silly country currently disallows me to do, like buy wine. On the other hand eighteen sounds far more mature than I think I'm emotionally ready for. Seventeen still sounds as if there's room for improvement and error. Eighteen sounds far too concrete for my liking. 

Over and Out. I'm going to trudge back in the rain to eat the cauliflower rice I made yesterday. Discovering the versatility of vegetables makes me far too happy. As does grocery shopping. Coolness factor 80000. 

Inner Turmoil

So here I am again. Not quite as soon as I'd hoped but I've been hit by a horrendous bout of fresher's flu. A copious amount of lemsips seems to have fought off the hacking cough that sounded a bit like a wheezing guinea pig. Fresher's week has come and gone, and if I'm being brutally honest I'm rather relieved. I love socialising and going out, but 7 days of constant partying is not my cup of tea. (green tea, naturally)

I'm now in my second week of uni, and after one disastrous organisational mishap concerning my timetable, I think everything is almost sorted. I'm now enrolled in French, though I'm not quite sure how that happened. I think perhaps the constant playing of Édith Piaf on my itunes helped me to realise that I really adore the language. (Not solely that of course, I like to think I'm not that easily persuaded by romantic melodies). I want to improve and speak it without any hesitation or anxiety. Despite the fact that I speak french, I always hold back whenever I'm addressed, as I never feel fully comfortable speaking. Here's hoping that's going to change!

This past week has been a little difficult though, I think I need some time to adjust. Everything last week just seemed to go wrong and everything ended up topsy turvy. I even stopped eating properly, which is one thing I have never done in my life. I ceased to become hungry. That is a warning sign in itself. However, I started off the week with a morning workout and today has been marginally better!

Adding a few snaps of what I've been up to recently. Some of them were last month, but they were happy times and I need a little pick-me-up!

Me and momma before she left for home

Rhubarb-Peach-Strawberry crumble I made for my grandparents (it was quite delicious if I do say so myself) 

happy doodles

I've met some wonderful people here already, which I am so grateful for as I feel inexplicably happy when I'm in their company. The shining ray of sunshine below is one of them. We explored the beautiful botanic gardens while the sun was out, and I felt so content as we walked round the tropical flowers. The light was perfect, it kept bouncing off the petals creating a magical alice in wonderland fairytale. She contributed to the retrieval of my sanity last week, as we chatted endlessly over too many cups of coffee and magnificent poetry.

Botanic garden wanders

Portuguese beauty whom I am privileged to know

That's it for now, I'll write a detailed post soon once I've got my feet back on the ground and figured out what I'm doing with my life. (Who am I kidding when will I ever figure that out)

I'll leave with one of my favourite songs at this present moment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOXzGtlLGgw 

It makes me want to go to Paris and eat delectable pain au chocolat and drink wine. Dang blast this country where I cannot buy wine. What is life. I want wine. 

Autopilot: Flight mode

Reporting from the chilly outer realms of reality (more commonly known as Scotland)

I have since moved to Scotland, and I would be lying if I said that I'm not freaking out just a little. I'm anxiously waiting for university to start so I can regain normality, as at this present moment in time I feel a little spaced, a bit floaty-like.

It sounds pathetic but I miss Brussels already. Currently watching LOL (the original french version, the english one looks absolutely dreadful) to try and make myself feel like I'm back home. Between that and far too much Édith Piaf the burning desire to move to Paris may suddenly arise, despite the fact that I know fine rightly that I conjure up a romanticised fantasy concerning living on the quaint streets of la belle Paris. The United Kingdom never feels like Europe to me, and me oh my am I missing Europe already. I'm having horrendous doubts about leaving Brussels and I haven't even started university yet.

Aside from these thoughts I have had some wonderful days this past week! Several trips to Edinburgh with my parents may have contributed to the happy feeling.

My lovely parentals in the gorgeous Edinburgh

After having far too many coffee shop stops, we caught several shows and performances. A few of them weren't to my personal taste, but I absolutely adore seeing live performances, so they were all new experiences. (However I did sit through a solid hour of being intensely stared at during an insanely morbid one man show about how miserable, pathetic and ultimately useless life was due to the fact I was sitting directly in front of him) I did manage to see a musical performance of Dracula, and when I say I was enraptured I cannot begin to explain how amazing it was. For a lover of gothic literature, gore and musicals I have to say I was completely in my element. 10/10

The best platter I have eaten in quite a while

If you're ever in Edinburgh I highly recommend this little cafe, it sits in a little alleyway/alcove as you walk up from the train station to the royal mile. I had a delicious platter of humous, pitta bread, onions and salad, and as simple as that sounds it was truly scrumptious. A little pot of green tea added to the magic.

Train rides

I don't know why i like the above, it just reminds me of travelling and the feeling of contentment I get when I ride trains. They make me feel inexplicably calm. This was when I decided I looked like a zombie so I added a line of eyeliner to make me feel fierce. (So i transformed myself into a ferocious, flesh eating zombie instead of a weak one).

Boats

Not to make my face the central aspect to this post, I just thought this picture captured the way I feel on boats. I can't explain how alive I feel when I can't even stand up for being blown left, right and centre by the icy winds.

I already miss all of my friends, I feel quite empty without them. I wish I hadn't moved so early, as I barely got to say goodbye to quite a few of them. Christmas is a long way away.

Goofball

I couldn't resist adding this snap of mon petit ami at his finest, it just never fails to make me chortle, and the day it was taken was one of the best days. 

I'll take my leave for now, and post again with some snaps of Glaswegian life. I'm away to watch Lol and pretend I'm renting a Parisian apartment with white floors and white rugs.

Preface to a beginning

Long time no post.

Since my whole life is about to change drastically I thought I'd write a blog post seeing as I have essentially left my blog to become buried under three thousand feet of sand. I am ecstatic to say that I have finally finished secondary school (cue screams of delight and intense joy) and I earned the mark I was working furiously for. I also met my conditions for university so Psychology here I come!

What with moving to Scotland far sooner that I am mentally prepared for, everything is changing and the butterflies in my stomach have conveniently multiplied significantly. I cannot wait to start university, but I am absolutely terrified at the same time. I'm going to miss all my friends dearly, and starting anew will be difficult. However, I am determined to stay positive as this is a spectacular opportunity and I cannot wait to begin something completely unknown. I am so excited to move and experience new things!

So, what with enjoying my last week in Belgium and attempting (because I have barely started) to pack up all my belongings into suitcases, I feel very jumpy. Due to the fact that I have moved around a lot, my mind has come to detest suitcases, so the very thought of packing makes me sigh distastefully. I also can't really come to terms with the fact that I'll be moving away from home as my course doesn't actually start for quite a while. It also means that I have to limit my packing and leave behind some belongings (gracious, I'll have to cut down on shoes). It's becoming a gloomy affair, as I realised that everything I own is simply 'stuff'. I own quite a fair amount of clothes, but it's all quite meaningless really. I always feel that way when I'm travelling, that nothing really matters about from the passport, the ticket and the money. Everything else is irrelevant. I think that may be slightly pessimistic.

I've been doing a little travelling these past two weeks, and I thought I'd add a few snaps to show what I've been up to.

New Forest icecream

Being artsy on the beach with reverse dinosaur spines

Dorset beach 

6am lonely walk in the sunrise (camping is definitely not my thing)

the BEST BREAKFAST I HAVE EVER MADE (this is me preparing for the cafe I will own)

I made scones and we had an English high tea

I'm currently reading the Count of Monte Cristo (it's taking quite a while to read) and I absolutely adore it! I'm wrapped up in Dumas' world of deceit and murder.

Right I'm away to make mini apple crumbles for dessert tonight! Yes, I do always think about food. I really do want to own a café. It will be filled with avocados. 

Emotions of Summertime

I now have internal angst as I spent 20 minutes writing a blog post and it deleted. The pain. The pain.

So I have decided to dust the metaphorical dust off from my little blog and share my nonsensical ramblings with the world once more. School is now officially over, and I am so close to complete freedom. We've been given a whole week (how generous) off to study for our impending exams, so right now I'm in study mode and hibernating in my rather cluttered bedroom (rather being the operative word) Roll on July.

I thought I'd add a few pictures of what my life has been about recently. They're only snaps, not taken with precision or with artistic intent, just little sneak peaks into happiness. I've come to the conclusion that without company, you can never truly be happy. I've been studying Philosophy today and it may have begun to wear off on me. We may all have materialistic cravings, but you can never replace human contact. When I'm around people I feel comfortable with, I feel so content. I love hearing the buzz of voices and the chink of glasses, the tipsy laughing and the preparation of food. I know the cliché 'life is short' is an outworn statement, but I need to stop worrying about every single little thing. Life is short, and it's the only thing we know, so I intend to stop fretting over every decision and what may or may not happen, I just want to enjoy everything as it comes. I'm not shirking the notion of responsibility or morality, only a decision to overcome the futility of some matters and make the most of some others.

I'm going to write some more Philosophy notes on Kant's categorical imperative and then head to bed, I've got a lovely day of studying planned (oh how I look forward to it), but I'm planning on making a truly delicious dinner so life is good.

Yes, a handstand at 4am was definitely a good idea. 

Mid emotional moment during our leavers barbecue (which was lovely on so many levels)

Avocados make me inexplicably happy, I have no idea why. I intend to eat them for eternity.

A little snap from my 35mm of a birthday party, we all sat and drank beer and talked the night away. It was such a cosy gathering (complete with a splendid birthday cheesecake - what more could you want) 

Peace out girl scout. 

Spring Sunshine

Starting off with the generic 'It's finally spring let me comment on the sunshine' but I'm not apologising! Sunshine makes everything better, it just lifts my mood enormously.

So it's March, and heavens above it was January yesterday where on earth is the time going? Counting down the days till the holidays (again, I feel like that's all I ever do) and mercifully there's only five weeks left until the freedom of Easter. By Easter I mean a workload that will probably cause me to have a nervous breakdown but hey chocolate! I think I'm visiting the Bonnie Scotland during Easter so that's something to look forward to, that means cutesy cafes and having a little sneak peak in lovely vintage shops.

My lovely girls and I went for a little photographic spring walk at the weekend, and it was one of the loveliest afternoons I've had in a while. I think it's safe to say that violet and white chocolate flavoured ice-cream accompanied with two rather hilarious beings makes for a rather pleasant afternoon.

Currently listening to Lorde, and I can honestly say that I really love her music. Tennis court is my jam sesh in the shower, I think I spend more time screaming lyrics than the actual taking of the shower. Cro has also been blasting through my speakers - you can never go wrong with a bit of German rap (yes I'm serious it's genuinely good stuff) and has contributed to the happy feeling.

Made myself the most delicious meal I've ever had in my entire life (oops I think everything I say is an exaggeration in some shape or form). The thought of being able to cook whatever I want when I want - pretending that I'll have the money to buy the fancy food I like - when I go to university makes me incredibly excited. I'm planning on buying an oriental-style cook book and fill up my head with deliciously tangy recipes. Basically I love food.

I'm away to go study, not watch Buffy because i would much rather be studying. Wouldn't you? Learning about about the American democracy in the 1950s seems so inviting. I shouldn't mock, history is extremely important, though I just really want to curl up into a ball and draw while watching Spike fall helplessly in love Buffy and watch her kick his ass.

I've added some photos of the day of sunshine, I quite like how they turned out! (they're all digital, still haven't gotten round to developing my film, there are three rolls now. What have I been doing??)

I haven't quite gotten the hang of blogging with panache yet. 

February

The month of February is upon us, time for hot chocolate with whipped cream I think.

The exam season somewhat took over my life the past month, and now that I am free for another few months I feel pleasantly relaxed and ready for the world. My brain is completely fried though, will need multiple bowls of ice cream and several horror films to snap back into my usual thought process.

I finally have the time to draw again! Filling up three sketchbooks is one of my aims for this year, as is finally finishing a journal I've had for too long and filling up my little thought book. I adore flipping through a notebook and having all the pages filled with writing, I'm not quite sure why.

I was invited to one of my good friends' birthday do over the weekend, and it was one of the loveliest days I've had in quite a while. There's something so heart warming about being surrounded by people laughing and enjoying themselves, it makes you feel so content and alive. I think no matter how much we wish to deny it, we need some form of human interaction. When you're left alone for too long, your thoughts become reality and you almost forget the influence other human beings can have on your general state of being. This fact has me terrified that I'll never be able to live truly alone, as I often confuse appreciation of my own company with loneliness.

Enough of the reflections on the meaning of life for now. Let's talk about food. I have recently started to freeze grapes, and I can honestly say it's better than anything ever (no that was so not a hyperbole in any way). I have also started to cut up bananas and freeze them, as they make a wonderful ice cream when blended with a dash of soy milk. Oh how healthy daaahling!

I must retire to my bed chamber (or more accurately my bed as sleep is beckoning me) and think about my lunch I have planned for myself tomorrow. I bought an avocado especially. I also bought a kilogram pot of passionfruit yogurt but that may be my insanity talking. I felt like I was brandishing a battle sword as I plonked it down upon the counter. I am not ashamed of my yogurt obsession. Yogurt holds a place next to avocados in my chilly heart.

These are a couple of snaps from the birthday date. The first is a shot of the birthday girl, and the second is of yours truly. The second picture makes me smile, I think any picture where the subject is laughing just radiates happiness.