Festive Ramble

Yuletide blogpost!

First of all, Merry Christmas! I hope your day was perfect and you can't move because you ate so much.

I'm planning on letting my mind ramble on a ridiculous scale here in an attempt to organize my thoughts. I think that's all I ever do, as I keep filling sketchbooks and writing books with far too many  of these thoughts. I wonder if you counted every thought ever to have existed you could create some form of time vortex and the world would implode. 2 am intellectual maturity is rearing its ugly head, I thought you were supposed to get more rational when you hit eighteen? Possibly not.

Anyhow, I've been rather consumed with a mess of things recently. One of them is university and the shambles that is my life. The other is the UTTER SHAMBLES that yes, is indeed my life and how I must fix it. I usually love repairing things, yet this time it's proving to be a little difficult.

The process of forgetting is one that I find intriguing and painful. Forgetting is something I do too often, as I leave half of my possessions where they shouldn't be then nearly have a seizure trying to reclaim them. Intentional forgetting is another thing entirely. Trying to forget memories and feelings is something which fills me with a terrible sadness, as if it were up to me I would never attempt to do so. My friend told me a quote concerning the fact that feelings demand to be felt. This statement resonated a lot with me, as I identify with it far more than I would like. However, there has to be some sort of off-switch. I think that I feel too much, and a lot of things affect me when I wish they didn't. Let's say I let emotions guide me and that often leads to some crashing and burning. Yet when do the feelings stop being felt? Do they ever stop? Should they stop? Emotions are funny things, they are the core reason for being yet the core reason for the world's plight.

Let's escape to the other issue of university. Do you ever get the feeling you've walked into the wrong room, wearing the wrong outfit and have a ticket for another event? That's the jist of how my head is right now. However, I'm holding the right cocktail. In case your head isn't as insane as mine the cocktail was a metaphor for the people I have met in Glasgow. If you didn't get there from the obscure party reference then shame on you. If you thought I was a raving alcoholic don't worry, I would've too. Anyway, I've built myself a nice little haven in Glasgow. The friends I've made make me warm inside and I could spend hours in their company, yet I'm still in the wrong room in the wrong outfit with the wrong invitation. I hope I don't end up flitting here, there and everywhere, because I really hope that if I make the drastic decision I am concocting inside my brain it turns out to be the right one. Too many decisions. Please send Matt Healy carrying pizza and cookie dough. (Vegan pizza and flourless, eggless cookie dough so I feel at least a little healthy).

Another paragraph so this post appears to have structure. ART. I love art. Art makes me happy, art helps me breathe. I'm thinking art. Maybe I'm wrong. An application can't hurt. An application is only an application.

PICTURES

My wonderful pops

Holding lights for me while looking contemplative

My favourite dinner to make

AVOCADO

Legs. This is how I feel about winter. It encapsulates my feeling of cosiness. 

So not going to get through a blogpost without this one's face. Oops. I miss her already. 

I went to a beautiful soirée at a friends' house the the other night, and it was absolutely spectacular. I missed them all a great deal, and I cannot describe the feeling of being surrounded by their warmth and laughter. It filled me with a deep sense of contentment. We made far too much food, drank too much cava and took too many photographs (who am I kidding there is no such thing as too many photographs). All this was accompanied by cards of humanity, punching every fibre out of a pillow and playing glorious tunes on the guitar. It was one of the best nights I've had in quite a while. The ladies I spent it with have a magical power to produce these nights that produce this same feeling without fail every time we have them. We talked about everything under the sun and stared at the crispy belgian sky at 3 am. Being surrounded by them and a blanket against the harsh, cold, european night made me feel so happy. This night will have to be repeated, any time any place. The picture below was taken by the majestic Sarah, one of the coolest kids you will ever meet. Her blog is well worth a peruse.

Issy and I on the windowsill

That's all for now, the clock is steadily getting later and later, and I must wake up relatively early tomorrow, lots of things to do! (A.k.a art and reading while listening to my record player and drinking green tea. I love things right now)

I know this post didn't actually make sense and I went from two different moods but hey, it's a rollercoaster life. That was either profound or incredibly pathetic. I'll let you choose. 

Until the next post!