Chagrin

Another November post? Me oh my, I must really be avoiding doing all of my coursework.

My last post was rather depressing.
I don't know how to explain it.
Have a picture of a cup of coffee.

Coffee just makes the world better. 

Emotions are unusual things. They never really make sense, and why we possess them is another matter entirely. Recently I've been mulling them over, trying to suppress some of them. It will never cease to amaze me as to how powerful they are, we really let them take control of our rationality. Yet is that a good thing? Is it a bad thing? I pay attention (probably too much) to sentiments, so I would always go with what I feel is right. Yet, sometimes, I believe that we condition ourselves to think in a certain way in accordance to what is expected of us. Breaking away from that mould and discovering another feeling entirely is no easy feat.

My thoughts are jumbled so I'm going to switch topics.
I had a lovely day today. Mariana and I had a bit of a wander and I walked back with a stomach full of coffee and a heart full of happiness. I always get a bizarre feeling when I walk home in the dark, when my way is lit by painfully orange street lamps. Cities change at night, it's almost as if they all have a split personality disorder. Depending on which area of the city you're in (murder capital of Europe represent) I think Glasgow is so much more enchanting at night. It just feels so alive. Walking back to my flat kind of feels like numbness. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but it feels like walking through incredibly misty fog. A bit like sleepwalking.

I always go with my gut instinct, and recently my mind has been a little hazy. I don't really think I'm a UK person. That sounds strange as I am indeed British and have lived in Britain throughout various stages of my life so far, but I really don't feel it at all. After spending so long in Belgium, I feel out of place here. I know that I'm not going to stay after University, but a tiny part of me wants to flee. If someone offered me a plane ticket I really don't think I would hesitate in taking it. That thought scares me, as that means I'm not doing what I feel is right. Emotions emotions emotions.

HAVE PICTURES. We took a few shots today so I'm going to unleash them to the world (a.k.a the three people reading this - hey guys)

Little snap of Katie I took the other week while she was dancing. 

Later alligator.

Raindrops

Still November.

I thought this month would be the best month I've ever had. I don't think I've ever been so wrong. Some personal things happened far too recently and I don't quite know how to function anymore. Aren't raindrops funny? They can daintily splash on the pavement at the same time as flooding the streets. I think there are always parallels in nature as to how you're feeling.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing a blogpost, but I keep writing everywhere hoping it will help. I also keep making green tea with honey. I don't know why I've randomly started to add honey. I think the sweetness helps.

I'm going to be all generic
I found a poem

It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So very deeply.

-David Jones

I don't think I want to add any pictures today.
Cue a horrendous amount of self pity

Thunderstorm

Oh hello November!

Goodness, time really is flying past. I never thought it actually would but it's scaring me how quickly the days go by.

I just made a kale/quinoa/apple/beetroot/pepper salad for dinner and my stomach is quite content right now. The Vegan Pledge starts this month and I'm rather intrigued as to how it will turn out. I accidentally already broke it on the 1st of November as a few days previously I had bought yogurt. I obviously couldn't throw it out so I had to eat it. However, I have not eaten anything else that I shouldn't be. I did have a mini panic attack when I read that you couldn't eat honey. However, after discovering that it's actually a huge debate among vegans and non-vegans alike, I decided to keep it in my diet. I can't cut honey out I use it for far too many things, it's my alternative to the horrible white sugar. Agave syrup is also way beyond my price range so there's no way that's being placed in my shopping trolley.

It's still bleak and grey here, but I'm learning to be positive. I keep writing positivity notices all around my room (it's quite sad but they help when I'm feeling down). I am also obsessed (obsessed in a big way) with Taylor Swift's new album. I don't care what anyone thinks of that. Fitting people into categories according to their music taste will always infuriate me, as there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking a wide variety of styles. I adore David Bowie, Bing Crosby, The Smiths and Ben Howard. I also adore Taylor Swift, Crystal Castles and Lorde. The reaction to 'popstars' in the present time is the same as it has been for years. When David Bowie first emerged I'm sure there were thousands of people who detested him and thought he was an awful icon. I'm sure 'haters' existed. My original point was that Taylor Swift's new album makes me incredibly happy and I grin every time I hear a song from it.

I rant too much.

It's time for Bronagh's weekly (or monthly) dose of photos. Photos make me happy. I'm considering buying a film camera from the little second hand/antiquey like store in the West End. I've wanted one for so long, but they're a little pricey. Getting film developed is pricey too, it's just I cannot even begin to describe my love for film cameras. I want to take pictures with them for ever and swim in a bath of unused film throwing paint all over the place.

Because pancakes

This is all blurry, as I consider my sketchbook to be very personal. I don't like someone I don't know leafing through it if that makes sense. It makes me feel a bit vulnerable as I never ever lie to my sketchbook. 

Granola prep

Making homemade granola is slowly becoming a habit, it tastes to much better than the packets I usually buy, and this way you know exactly what's in it and what you're eating. (also no added sugar if you use honey as a sweetener)

Mariana and I looking extremely beguiling, I know. The day these were taken made me happy so I added them in.

Right I think I'm going to head to bead as I have a 9am lecture tomorrow. I finally finished my Psychology essay that was due in today so I feel quite relieved.

May the autumnal sunshine rest on your frail skin and warm your bloodstream.